Hi Julie,
I don’t really know how to begin this question, so…I’m just gonna lay out my concerns.
I want love, I need love, I crave it; but I’m just so SCARED!
I have Venus Square Saturn, Venus Square Chiron, Venus Square Midheaven, Venus Square the North and South Node’s, Venus Semi-Square Moon, and Venus is also in my twelfth house. Actually, I have very few “good” aspects in my chart…I must have some major karma baggage or something.

It feels as if I’m just not meant for love, that it’s just always going to be a losing battle.
Consultations I’ve had with some astrologers just drive home this fear, one woman told me I’d be in my sixties before I found love, and another actually pointed out to me that I also have Ascendant Square Saturn, which he says indicates a delay in love, for the fact that the vibe I put off means nobody will want to start a relationship with me…great, something else to obsess about.

And, not to get too personal here, but I haven’t had the best relationship’s with men…none I could depend on.
An absent father (Sun Square Saturn), and an extremely authoritarian grandfather (Pluto in the first), so I know that adds to the fear.

But, when I do seem to finally get in a relationship, I sabotage it..and I have no clue why!?
The same thing happens every time, I start to feel guilty, start thinking that this guy deserves better than me, that I’m not worthy, why am I being selfish keeping this guy committed to me when he can find someone who’s better.
So, inevitably I break it off…and I’m back to my lonely self.

With all the square’s to my Venus it’s gonna be work concerning love, I know that much…
Your Venus Square Saturn post was really helpful and probably the first encouraging thing I’ve read concerning that particular aspect, so any help on the other ones? Or just any advice at all?

Sorry for rambling and writing such a long post.

I know I’m still pretty young, so please don’t think I’m foolish for my concerns, notice all that Saturn in my chart, I’m an old soul. 😉

Thanks for your time.

Hi O,
I think you’ve laid the actual, real-life problem out in your letter, as your chart suggests you’ve been sold a bill of goods by astrologers who’ve been playing a little fast and loose with orbs, and who may have found it easier to whip up your fears than to tell you the Venus and Saturn pictures are not what you think they are–in fact, difficulties lie elsewhere entirely. Let’s talk about the chart first, then we’ll see how you’ve been shaping your relationships, one withdrawal at a time.

First, Saturn is not square Venus, and it’s not square the Ascendant, either; sometimes it’s tempting to make orbs bigger than we should, in order to support the client’s expressed reality–but if we look elsewhere, which is really our job, we always find the source of the client’s upset–and a correct vision of reality (or at least something close) is the only thing that equips us to change that reality to our liking.
Venus semi-squares the Moon=some dissonance between your concept of love (which, with Venus in Libra, may be overly romanticized according to society’s idea of love and relationship) and your emotional perceptions and needs–you may be aware of the friction here, and I think you are–but it appears you may have decided that your needs are overblown or out of whack, rather than that your idea of what constitutes love needs re-vamping–and I would say it’s the opposite. Venus, in Libra in the 12th, closely conjunct the Ascendant, the Sun in the 1st, and Mercury in the 1st, both also in Libra=this places the concept of love in the subconscious (where it may not be understood or examined consciously, because it’s difficult for you to grasp–and this is where that societal image of what it should be comes in, so that you may substitute that for your own concept of love, and thus neatly shoot yourself in the foot), and this also unites love and values, communication and thought, and the Soul urge, identity, and personality very tightly, so that it may be almost impossible for you to distinguish these concepts from you–they seem to be who you are–and the Sun and Mercury so close ushers in a difficulty in perceptual accuracy and clear thought–there can be a tendency for someone with this relationship between the Sun and Merc to see his or her thoughts as constituting their Beingness, and words and concepts can powerfully form the identity and influence the Soul’s expression.

Venus sextiles Pallas=this exemplifies an idea that’s echoed throughout the chart, that as a woman you are wise, confident, and skilled, with much to offer–if you can access that positive Libran ideal of yourself. Venus is conjunct the ASC=beauty, grace–you are somehow a shining example of these, with a lovely personality–and this too is echoed throughout the chart–so no, you are not giving off a nasty vibe of ‘stay away’! Quite the opposite.

Venus also makes one other aspect, a square to Chiron–I think we’ve got a winner! Here’s a big part of the problem–you perceive yourself to be severely wounded in the love area, and if we see ourselves a particular way, we tend to act that out–so despite your having had any number of suitors, you, by your own testimony, dump them before they can dump you (and it’s very egotistical, by the way, to follow a train of thought that says “I’m not good enough for this guy, I feel so guilty taking up his wonderfulness so that someone better than me can’t have him, I’ll spare him my bad Self and break up!” Huh? You are desperately hoping to receive love, but won’t participate in a relationship? Listen up, young lady: Others get to decide their relationship to you, and also what they think of you–you can’t control that and shouldn’t try–to believe you can and should is grandiose.

Chiron is also involved in a T-square with the Sun/ Earth axis, Mercury and Venus, is sesquiquadrate the Moon, semi-square Mars, trine Juno, and opposed Saturn, as well as sitting at the midpoint of the trine between Vesta and Ceres. All these feed that concept of wounded Self into vital life energies, gumming things up and making you doubt the veracity of your emotions, making you feel you can’t get along with males (a little friction, in your case, is normal and good, as it will help you focus on who you are and what you need), and a word about Chiron opp Saturn–it is likely manifesting for you as swinging between denial and suppression of hurt, and total indulgence in it. The goal is to connect to reality and express the Chirotic gift (Cancer) in the world, possibly in a communication or educational capacity (3rd/9th involvement).

That’s the heart of things, as I see it. With all that Libra, I know finding partnership is very very important to you (I know, I have four planets there)–but you are young, and to fret about not having found your life companion before you’ve even reached twenty is impractical–you aren’t ‘cooked’ yet, you’ve got many things to do, see, and learn, especially about yourself–you don’t want him to come along and not be interested in you, which is a distinct possibility if your focus is on nothing but finding a partner–so get your life going, take your mind off love, and it will come to you (and you can’t fool the Universe, don’t just pretend to busy yourself–really set some goals and go to work!)

A couple of hints: Sedna, the body that represents our ‘blind spot’ in life, is placed in your 7th (partners!) and is exactly square Jupiter (the social arena).  You may tend to look in the wrong places for mates–and your use of the word ‘obsess’ with obvious familiarity with the obsessive state, might suggest that Pluto is a stronger force in your life than you may think–reaching out to destroy and cause obsession when held subconsciously or when we try to repress what should come to light, but powerful in its ability to transform when accepted as a positive ally–just sayin’

You come across as a truly lovely person, with a bright, effervescent spirit and many gifts–love will come to you, and you won’t have to wait until your 60s! Just take a step back, deal with the world as it is, and let go of the notion that you are so flawed you’ll never find love–because when you say that, you’re talking about romantic love, and the reality is that actual, sustaining, nurturing love is all around us all, all the time–let that in, know you are worthy of it, and romantic love won’t be far behind.
Thank you for your letter, O, and best wishes!
jd
                                                                                                               **********

Hello Julie

Help me to understand the Juno of my boyfriend, because worries me: Juno in twelve house in Libra (Libra is the ascendant too and the Sun in Virgo 11 house) and with the following aspects: trine Moon, conjunct Venus, Mercury, Mars and Pluto, semi-sextile North Node, semi-square Ceres and square Vesta. Too many planets in twelve house (all in Libra)and Juno to. North Node is in Scorpio, first house.

Please help me to understand.

Hi R,
I don’t know exactly what you’re concerned about, though it seems you’re focused on the fact that there are many 12th House placements, and that one of them is Juno–and you need to understand that that isn’t necessarily bad at all. It may mean that your boyfriend naturally is secretive, or at least contains himself, his thoughts and intentions, as a matter of course, and this can make others, especially those who don’t have a 12th House affinity, very uneasy. Without a full chart I can’t really say too much, though I would suggest this: I would guess that his energies (subconscious and conscious) are very much deployed into the partnership/ mate arena (Juno conjunct Venus and Mars, Libra involvement)–and that the goal might be his own personal power ends (Scorpio NN in the 1st). That implies that if you’re a more submissive sort, you may be a sought-after mate for him, and a possible victim, at least in terms of autonomy and exercise of your own power. With Juno conjunct Venus, Mercury, Mars, and Pluto, your boyfriend may be very Self-contained, in many ways, and it seems this raises alarm bells of some kind for you. So much, in fact, depends upon your own personality make-up, your strengths, weaknesses, and preferences, that to say whether this is a good relationship for you is impossible. I wish you well, R, and urge you to listen to your intuition, and let it be your guide.
jd                                                                                                   

*************

Hi Julie!

My son has always said he wouldn’t have many girlfriends, as most young people do, but he would be the man of one woman. And indeed, being serious and slow in everything he does (Sun conjunct Saturn, I guess), he waited till he was 25 to find HER. Now they live together and things seem to go well. Yes, his Venus-Mars conjunction in Virgo falls exactly on her Ascendant and her Moon is in his 7th house.Yet I have a query: can love last when it is based on contacts between one person’s planets and the other’s axes? Is it as dynamic and fulfilling as contacts between the 2 persons’ planets?
Many thanks, K

Hi K!

This is an excellent question–yes, contacts to the angles from planets in another person’s chart, and vice versa, can be every bit as dynamic and binding as planet to planet contacts, provided the birth times are completely accurate. Since angles are dependent on the local time at the point on Earth where someone was born, it’s extremely important to have as accurate a birth time as possible. When the Ascendant and Midheaven, especially, seem to be responsive to transits and Solar Arcs, with corresponding life events sometimes correlating, then we can be sure that the timing is very close to perfect.

In looking at the two charts, I see why you’ve asked this question, as the contacts are not as compelling as we might typically see between lovers. If you’d like to know what I think, K, please email me and I’ll give you a brief rundown.

Thank you for your question, and my best to all three of you!

jd

                                                                                                    ***********

And finally, what makes you vulnerable? An experience I had last evening made me start thinking of this, as I became deeply emotional as the Moon passed over my Ascendant (I had the experience, then later found this was so–I’m not one who is living my life with a ticking clock and transit chart in my head–not that there’s anything wrong with that!) So I wanted to ask