What You’re Asking: ‘How Do You Know?’

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An artist's conception of a multitude of tiny diamonds next to a hot star. (NASA/JPL-Caltech) {{PD}}

An artist’s conception of a multitude of tiny diamonds next to a hot star. (NASA/JPL-Caltech) {{PD}}

The italicized terms below are taken from the search results that bring people to my blogs. This article appears in the current ECLIPSE.

When Do You Know A Friendship is Over?

In all seriousness, the answer to this is, ‘When the other person stops treating you as a friend.’ I’m not being glib when I give this as the way to know when a relationship has deteriorated. Once we’re in a relationship we’re much too prone as individuals to see it as existing in a static state, still being viable and following the old feelings and parameters even after something has definitely shifted. We don’t take the time to look at the state of the current interaction, and if something’s bothering us, to examine the attitudes involved—and that includes our own, as we are just as likely to change and not acknowledge it as the other person. Typically, though, unless we have some control-oriented pathologies going on, most of us won’t even notice that the interaction has changed—we just say we ‘drifted apart’, or summon some other euphemism to explain why we no longer talk, or we excuse our unease as being due to some new or upsetting event in our own or the other person’s life (“Janie is being so critical because she’s under stress at work.”) We don’t end a friendship unless we recognize that it no longer functions in a roughly even, give-and-take manner. And though each of us has a different definition of what it means to be a friend and of what we expect from friendship, even if we haven’t outlined those things consciously we know immediately when we ask ourselves the question, ‘Is this person treating me like a friend?’ whether they are or not. If the answer is, ‘No, they’re not treating me like a friend,’ then the relationship is over.

Is it worth discussing with the other person your feeling that you are not being treated like a friend? I would say it is, unless what alerted you to the change in tone was something consciously said or done by the other person that signals loud and clear, ‘We just aren’t friends.’ If the other person behaves in an inappropriately competitive manner or is unwilling to treat you with respect (and by that I mean, treat you kindly and with the consideration offered any other adult, equal to what they ask for from you), all you can do is gently walk away. And remember, if the actions don’t match the words, no matter who it is, you’re not in a healthy interaction.

Astrologically you can get clues about your own expectations within friendship from the ruler of, sign on, and bodies posited in the 11th House of the natal chart. Transits through the 11th or to the ruler of the 11th can signal you’re in the midst of a friendship learning curve that may mark some of those interaction experiences that stay with you forever.

Are you future queen astro aspects

I loved the optimism in this query, just because, there aren’t many of these jobs around! So how do you know if you are a future queen? Here I wrote about the prospects for Kate Middleton, which haven’t yet been realized—but what about the rest of us? Rather a literal ascension to a throne, perhaps we should look at it in terms of being empowered within our own lives—and that is definitely Juno. True that she married a god and ruled with him over Olympus and the other gods, but she was a goddess in her own right, and would’ve been, no matter who she married—and this is something we may forget when reviewing her story, as we tend to focus on the vindictive nature of her actions well into the union, when her husband was cheating on her and disrespecting her. The image we too often capture of Juno is one after she has been emotionally battered repeatedly—would anyone want to be judged on her worst day? I think not. That still doesn’t answer what we can expect as aspects for a future queen. I would look for good aspects to Jupiter, for both the social support and the relative abundance being queen affords, and maybe a positive aspect between Jupiter (that might stand for the King) and one’s Sun or Moon, or even Venus, any of which might suggest an alliance. All the other things that usually pay off in real life—charm, beauty, talent, wealth—may not even factor in for this position, since circumstances of birth might override any other concerns. So we’re back to Juno, and the way she, though innately a goddess, still derives her greater status as queen from her mate and position on Olympus—suggesting that, at the mercy of the mate, being queen might be as frustrating as it is fun.

Does Uranus have tides?

To have tides Uranus would need two things: a moon or moons, and liquid oceans. We know it has at least 27 moons, with the largest named Miranda, Ariel, Umbriel, Titania, and Oberon (after Shakespeare characters). As to oceans, the latest theory is that it may have oceans of liquid diamond, formed due to the high pressure and high temperatures in the environment. So maybe it has tides—but until we actually send something to the surface, we can only guess.

Born Today 14 May

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Lovis Corinth 'Mädchen mit Stier' 1902 {{PD}}

Lovis Corinth ‘Mädchen mit Stier’ 1902 {{PD}}

This coming Solar year, through to your next birthday, dear Taurus, you may find instincts and assumptions crowding out rational thought or reasoned response. This isn’t the norm for you at all, but you may find repeatedly that you are acting or choosing on impulse, which may expose those ‘blind spot’ areas others see clearly in you and of which you are unaware–and that may be very scary for the normally placid bull. Here’s whatcha do: hook up with someone who can offer opportunity or who has authority that can help with your empowerment options–getting as firm a footing as possible will be important right now; recognize when something is bigger than you can handle, and stay out of its way–you’re not up to the battering ram method of getting what you want, no matter how feasible it seems (and it will seem possible); and try to enjoy the ironic way those matters you’ve ignored, been in denial about, or have been enraged by, resolve–and these may have (mostly positive) impact on your career, reputation, and/ or that element in life we call ‘luck’. Happy Birthday, Taurus, and good luck!

Born Today 13 May

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I don't pretend to know what will happen next. Woman holding Scissors and Winged Child' c1900 {{PD}} Photoprint by Fritz W. Guerin

I don’t pretend to know what will happen next. Woman holding Scissors and Winged Child’ c1900 {{PD}} Photoprint by Fritz W. Guerin

You’ve got a Solar year ahead, dear Taurus, that drives your fate and tests your strength–are you ready? You’ll get divine guidance, or spiritual aid of some kind, and what occurs will leave you feeling like a true child of the Cosmos, and both of these factors should help you navigate some unusual material issues–and put you in the way of some bigger and better-than-expected opportunities. Should you take them? Only if you’re comfortable traveling on a wing and a prayer–if you’re married to the earth (and what Taurus isn’t?) then this might be tough on you–but then again, this year you are exceptionally attuned to the unseen, the ephemeral, the imaginative, the creative, and to making circumstances such that you’ll see the ideals enter reality–which means chances are very good that sooner or later that is exactly what will happen. Happy Birthday, Taurus, and good luck!

Born Today 12 May

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Those shadows are trying to tell you something, Taurus. Emile Friant 1891 {{PD}}

Those shadows are trying to tell you something, Taurus. Emile Friant 1891 {{PD}}

The shadow world you’ve been experiencing lately, where everything has taken on dark proportions or strange new meanings, and where nothing is as it was, is simply an indication that the Universe is trying to tell you something–specifically, something about the way you think and the actions that drives. Dear Taurus, you need to refresh the attitude, reassess thought processes and reconsider your behavior–because soon these matters will have major impact on your reality picture–and you need to be as able as possible to let instinct and automatic reflexes guide you. That means everything has to be coordinated and in good working order. Yes, I know this is cryptic–it has to apply to everyone born on this day–at the same time, if you refuse to play coy, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about–at least, you’ll understand the part about needing to modify behavior and get thinking on the right track. You’ve got unique and imaginative gifts at your disposal this year, Taurus–use them for all they’re worth. Happy Birthday, and good luck!

Born Today 11 May

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Maksymilian Gierymski 'Landscape at Sunrise' 1868 {{PD}}

Maksymilian Gierymski ‘Landscape at Sunrise’ 1868 {{PD}}

You have a major opportunity this coming Solar year, dear Taurus, through to your next birthday, to heal and offer expression to what is most unique in you. That may seem a wee bit vague, until you consider that you’ve been fighting a long time to get to this position. You’ve been through the dark, and now that you’ve reached the light, you might be a little stunned–you may have expected the dark to go on forever. What you’re really ready to do is honor yourself and your abilities, to create a statement about who you are–and to take it public. Strengths this year include the ability to communicate creatively or to share ‘the Vision'; being flexible enough to accept Love and/ or Money from unusual sources; and showing exceptional competence that brings opportunity. Cautions involve not taking the wounds too seriously, and staying away from tall tales or exaggerations–what starts out as a harmless stretching of the truth could end up anything but. Happy Birthday, Taurus, and good luck!

Born Today 10 May

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Günther Meltzer 'Die Cyklopeninseln 1898' {{PD}}

Günther Meltzer ‘Die Cyklopeninseln 1898′ {{PD}}

You may be preoccupied with matters of hurt this coming Solar year, through to your next birthday, dear Taurus–in fact, you may be treating those wounds as sacred–and so could miss one or more major opportunities to share yourself and your truly original creations and gifts with the group. It may be that you are so intent on intellectualizing your emotional issues that you don’t actually face them, but instead turn them into mini-dramas starring you as the wronged party. That’s not as bad as it sounds, though; in a way, you are in need of giving yourself some intense attention and consideration, and it may be that you think parading your wounds is the only way to acceptably do that. You are uniquely sensitive at this time to issues of identity and to making highest values a vital part of your life, which means that if you want to, you can remake yourself into the image of your ideal You–so, your best course of action may be to concentrate on yourself, on who you really want to be–along the way you’ll define your gifts so specifically and with such elegant simplicity that you can’t help but use them wisely. Happy Birthday, Taurus, and good luck!

The Mother of Them All

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Here’s a Mother’s Day re-print, y’all! Happy Mother’s Day!

I really think there are many more maternal figures since Medea lost it who are worse than our subject; but it’s undeniable that her name has become a catchphrase for over-the-top histrionics and abuse (as well as the scourge of dry cleaners, through the admonition, “No! Wire! Hangars!”) Yes, I’m talking about the much maligned, and now nearly iconic symbol of dysfunctional mothering, actress and one-time Pepsico CEO Joan Crawford (23 March 1903, 10:00 PM, San Antonio Texas). To be fair to Joan, after a brief perusal of the mothering related factors in her chart, we’ll look at the chart of the adopted daughter who brought Joan’s alleged behavior to light, Christina Crawford (11 June 1939, 3:00 PM, Los Angeles California).

The attitude toward children in general, and one’s children in particular, is found in the 5th; for the senior Ms. Crawford, this is ruled by Neptune, alerting us immediately to the possibility that this woman does not see children in a realistic light. Neptune is in the 8th at 00 Cancer, implying that she may see children as a resource (something she was indeed accused of, in the sense of using her adopted children as props and a PR ploy), with the 00 placement in Cancer pointing up the emotional newness, even rawness, of Neptune related subjects–interesting in light of her lifelong occupation of film acting, with the 8th placement suggesting that she may have easily gained the support of others in this.

Neptune ruler, and symbol of both the mothering Joan received herself, and the attitude she carried toward mothering in general, the Moon, sits in Aquarius less than one degree from conjunction with Saturn, both in the 3rd. This is a combination for emotional repression, even coldness, as the emotions are processed intellectually; sitting in the 3rd this emphasized the mental approach to emotions, and this was communicated, whether she wanted others to see it or not. The Moon also trines Mars and Earth in Libra, marrying the emotions almost too easily to the material and to the ego and aggressive/ assertive urges, and the Moon sextiles Vesta and the Sun in Aries, making emotional challenges seem like ones that threaten her very identity, and giving the emotional scenario a label of ‘sacred’–no one may contradict her emotional interpretation! The Moon also sextiles Juno in the 1st, making her Self empowered through emotional expression. So, though the emotions are directly suppressed, we see they have plenty of real-world outlets, along with many underlying assumptions about their sacrosanct nature.

Mars, ruler of the Sun and already part of the equation through contact with the Moon, rules the 6th of duty and everyday happenings/ routine, and holds Venus in Aries, valuing the martial spirit and the kind of strict, military style routines her adoptive daughter said were a household staple. Chiron, which can often show a wound that drives much of our compulsive behavior, is isolated in Capricorn at the bottom of the chart, suggesting attempts to stave off the wound and attendant bad feelings about the Self may have taken the form of extreme discipline and repression. Chiron sits at the midpoint of a square between Juno (Self-empowerment) and Jupiter (society), implying she might have seen these two interests as in conflict, setting up a ‘Joan vs. everyone else’ dynamic.

But does she really fit the model of a ‘devouring mother’? Pluto is essential to that picture, and in Joan Crawford’s chart it is chart ruler, posited in the 8th, opposes Uranus, ruler of the 4th, and square Piscean Mercury, which brings us back to Neptune. This suggests that she may have been tempted to destroy the very people and things that supported her, that she may have been in an internal death struggle with her own expression of individuality and a longing to be part of the group, and that she was as likely to communicate destructively as she was to communicate in a way that reflected her (somewhat disconnected from reality–see Neptune’s situation) ideals. Though she certainly qualifies as responding to the devouring Archetype, she seems more a figure to be pitied than condemned; the emotional dysfunctions and woundedness that drove her were not easily dealt with, even for someone Self-aware. Ms. Crawford seems to have been unwilling, and perhaps even unable, to recognize her own distorted nature.

Adopted daughter Christina (11 June 1939, 3:00 PM, Los Angeles California) may have had her own motivations (aside from just revealing events) in writing her tell-all book, ‘Mommie Dearest.’ The view of the mother is found in the 10th, and the experience of mothering received in the state of the Moon. Leo is on the 10th cusp, with ruler Sun in the 8th in Gemini and conjunct Mercury. The Sun is sesquiquadrate Mars in Aquarius at the bottom of the chart–it just happens to conjunct Joan’s Moon. Where else would Christina’s ego and aggressive urges, intellectualtized and hidden deep inside herself, go for outlet, but to Mommie? Her Moon is in Aries (ruled by the instrument of her ego/ anger/ assertion); the Moon rules the 9th of publishing, and is square Chiron (the primal wound) in Cancer (Mom again!) and is conjunct Jupiter, which rules the intercepted 2nd, suggesting that perhaps there was a deeply hidden idea of the Self as ‘big’ and in connection to the other energies may have felt the only way to express this ‘bigness’ was through the emotions (Moon/ Jupiter conjunct).

Of course, just because someone has Jupiter connected to the 2nd, it doesn’t mean they have an inflated Self-worth; but I do remember distinctly that the book featured many episodes where Christina asserted her talents failed to be recognized. I recall wondering what talents and abilities she repeatedly referred to in the abstract, as she seemed to take for granted that the reader assumed her to be almost magically accomplished and talented, though she made virtually no direct reference to exactly what those talents were. 5th House (creativity) Jupiter happens to be, among other salient aspects, trine Pluto, implying a syndrome I’ve seen at work before (and first saw mentioned in the work of the great Grant Lewi): frustrated individuals with Jupiter/ Pluto aspects often believe they possess a whole list of imaginary attributes; the unfortunate part is that they judge themselves on these, and miss connecting with their real talents, and thus short-circuit their opportunities in reality. I believe this particular kind of magical thinking was at work in Christina. Also of note: her Aries Moon is conjunct Joan’s Sun. Reincarnationists will of course enjoy that; I’ll just say that this speaks of the child’s emotional state (and needs) meeting the ego/ identity/ Soul of the mother, head on; could it have felt to both like there was competition for recognition of each of these needs/ energies in the other? Even looking at only the couple of contacts between these two charts we’ve mentioned (Mars/ Moon, Moon/ Sun), we can see that, no matter how Christina was treated, she likely would have seen Joan as trying to outshine her, and perhaps, in disowning her own aggression, Christina more than a little contributed to the situation that came about; even children have the full pallet of urges and attributes–when we forget that, we infantilize (and fail to respect) them, and put our ability to have a fulfilling relationship with them in peril.

Born Today 9 May

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Pierre Puvis de Chavannes - 'Sacred Grove' 1883 {{PD}}

Pierre Puvis de Chavannes – ‘Sacred Grove’ 1883 {{PD}}

Dear Taurus, you are SO OVER keeping secrets, ignoring important matters, denying reality, throwing tantrums–you KNOW how destructive those choices can be–and yet here you are, the honest, trustworthy bull, and you have to decide: will you embrace a passion that requires you deny what you find sacred, or will you honor the values in place and mourn the passion that could’ve been? That’s a lousy choice to have to make–so don’t make it. You have the option of openly recognizing the conflict your passion engenders (remember, no more secrets!) and then finding avenues to healing those places where the values are at odds with what you desire. This isn’t nearly as impossible as it may at first sound, simply because you’ve been seeing the world far too much in ‘either/ or’ terms–that’s the way you sorted things out successfully before, but this time you have to take it to the next level, the one that allows you to honor two seemingly contradictory energies in your mind and life by finding the common denominators between them–and one of those is You. Happy Birthday, Taurus, and good luck!

Born Today 8 May

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{{PD}}

{{PD}}

You are at the perfect point, dear Taurus, to take highest values, goals, and ideals and manifest them in your uniquely original way–so what is it you want to do? You’ve already spent recent months honing ambitions to a fine point, and one way or another, acquiring the clout to make your desires reality–so what’s that standing in your way? It’s every dark thing, every matter ignored or denied, every issue yet to be hashed out, every bit of suppressed rage over injustice and abuse. You’d think that would make dandy rocket fuel to launch you toward your goals, but instead it ties you down to earth, and limits your reach and effectiveness. Attend to these matters (and truthfully, after the past few years, you may have very little to sweep up here, as you’ve taken care of many of the power imbalances and negative feelings in your life), and there’ll be nothing holding you back from realizing those very admirable ambitions and goals. Strengths this Solar year, through to your next birthday, include an excellent ability to communicate creatively, and a penchant for emotional honesty. Happy Birthday, Taurus, and good luck!

Born Today 7 May

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'The Rage of Achilles' by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo 1756 {{PD}}

You don’t have to go this far, Taurus, but do make your feelings known. ‘The Rage of Achilles’ by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo 1756 {{PD}}

You may soon feel an emotional crisis coming on, dear Taurus, when inner wisdom, what you thought was solid knowledge, and/ or what you see as your practical attitude fail you spectacularly. Rather than viewing this as a defeat, accept it as a course-correction–you were way off!–and now have the chance to get it better than right. In the Solar year ahead, through to your next birthday, you have the capacity and power to bring about great change in your life, the kind that brings fulfillment of ambitions and desires, but to bring it all to successful completion requires a few things: you must not only tend to what you’ve been ignoring or in denial about, you must express rage (yes, I said express rage!) should that be something you’re holding on to; you must find a way to blend into or at least make peace with the social circle; and you must treat both relationships and finances as if they need your attention right now–because they do. Happy Birthday, Taurus, and good luck!

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