We can never directly observe ourselves; no matter how quickly we turn, trying to catch a glimpse of our profile in the mirror (this was a childhood goal of mine!) we are destined not to succeed. We cannot observe ourselves from within ourselves, and even seeing ourselves on film isn’t adequate to convey who we are and how we come across to others, as film is once removed, losing the perceptual aura that comes with immediacy, with being in the moment. The natal chart offers us many clues as to how others perceive us under various circumstances, but one of the most intriguing is that of friendship. These are unique interactions, simply because we truly do choose our friends; without the compulsions that come with being related, or thrown together by need or circumstance, we label others as friends on a completely voluntary basis. Because of this, our chosen friendships can say a great deal about who we are, and so, to know how we’re perceived can be exceptionally revealing of one’s ‘real’ interests and personality.
Since only the individual can declare just who they consider to be a friend, a very subjective designation, I thought it best to investigate this subject from the inside out, so I’ll use myself as an example. First I looked for commonalities among those I consider close, long-term friends, and found a startling one: to a person, they all carry the Sun within the first 15 degrees of the Cardinal signs. What sense does that make? I wondered, as I have Sagittarius on the empty 11th, and I know this to be a fairly accurate symbolism for the way others perceive me as a friend; informal ‘knowledge exchange’ is often a part of things, as are an interest in travel and other cultures, in religion and all kinds of ‘politics,’ and in exploring ‘new’ territory. Sag is ruled by Jupiter, and that’s when the oh-so-obvious connection was made: Jupiter is at 12 Libra, conjunct the Sun and Mars–one might say that, with the Sun emphasized on both sides of the equation, my friendships are Soul intent to Soul intent connections (Sun to Sun) that take a Sag perspective or approach, or have Sagittarian ‘ingredients.’ Jupiter also trines Chiron, is semi-square Venus, and sits just to one side of the Saturn/ Uranus midpoint; Jupiter also rules the 10th, perhaps implying that what you see publicly is what you get in a friendship, as well. The interesting thing is that I don’t identify myself with Sag energies at all; but I know from feedback that my friends do. Is this the case for you? Do you see yourself one way, but friends identify you another way? How does your 11th tie into the rest of your chart, and what conclusions do you draw from it?
Julie Demboski's ASTROLOGY 
Hi Julie,
My husband also has an empty 11th house in Sag, like you. I have my Pluto and Mercury in Leo in my 11th. I wonder if it makes me seem more outgoing than I would think of myself.
LikeLike
Hi Terri,
I would say that Pluto/ Merc combo in the 11th might make others see you as having profound and important things to say. You may also be seen as ‘speaking from the Soul’ or with your own interests in mind (depending on the friendliness of the audience!) and that what you say has power–to effect others, to change them, or to transform their lot (so others may always be looking to you to improve their lives or get them out of a jam!) Look to the Sun’s House location and dynamic with other energies to get more ideas of how this plays out, and to get a more particular sense of how others see you.
LikeLike
I have Jupiter/Chiron in Aries in the 11th, and my Mars is right on my ascendant. I don’t identify with Aries energy in the slightest…. but you’re making me wonder if my friends see that about me.
LikeLike
I had an interesting thing happen to me recently.
A young, non-stereotypical, tattoo artist was fixing an old tattoo for me.
While she worked we talked about art.
In her little office she had three nice pieces she had done with in pencil.
Very traditional, quite striking.
I told her that I thought they were beautiful. (They were!)
She worked and we talked for an hour or more.
This was on the night of the 2/20/08 lunar eclipse.
She asked me to send her some of my writing.
A week or so later I sent her 3 poems I was working on.
She wrote back, later, maybe two weeks ago now.
She wrote, “I like your poems, but was surprised to feel sadness in them…
…I didn’t see or sense that in you at all.”
I don’t know what I project. I have Pluto/Leo in my 11th House.
Seeing one’s self in others is like a mirror; but it’s aslant, or something.
LikeLike
Jessica–that makes perfect sense to me that you don’t identify with Mars–and I would guess that your friends don’t see you as ‘Martian,’ either! Instead I think they may see someone confident who has major skills/ talents that may lead them in some sense, and they may see some of those skills as offering healing, or even redemption.
Randall–I see what your friend means, as I too see your communications as permeated by a sense of sadness. This may reflect Pluto in the 11th and Aquarius on the 5th–a deep understanding of the human condition may be what you have to give the world.
LikeLike
I’m utterly a novice at anything beyond the very basics of astrology.
What I am learning from you Julie about astrology’s push and place in life
makes sense–it clicks–in much the same way that reading Jung
and so many good poets snapped my eyes a open a little wider.
Thank you for your writing. Thank you for your time.
I am glad that you are feeling well! It has been a long, long winter
everywhere. But the sun is warmer now, the light shines longer.
LikeLike
I think that’s one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received–thank you, Randall
LikeLike
I like your page very much, I added it to my favourites ;))
About my 11th – Aries +Taurus with Jupiter 21 R in Aries. If I think about which energies suit me better, I would say Taurus energies, but that doesn’t necessarily mean friends see me that way. And something important, I know a lot of Taurus, 3 cousins, an aunt, 2 very close friends and a couple of other minor relations.
My question sounds like this – my Jupiter is trine Uranus, Saturn and to some extent Venus (the ruler of Taurus) all in Sag – 25, 20 and 15 dg (6th house). This is the closest stellium in my chart so I assume it’s an important aspect. So what does it mean for Friendship? Isn’t it an explosive aspect? The nature of the planets are quite different – strict Saturn, expansive Jupiter, revolutionary Uranus. I also have a quincunx Sun with Jupiter (my Sun is 23 dg Scorpio 5th).
LikeLike
Sorry, my Sun is in the 6th
LikeLike
Hi Rox–thanks for adding me to favs! Just from what you describe, I suspect you come across with more ‘Mars flavor’ than you realize (this idea receives some confirmation through Mars’ co-rulership of your Scorpio Sun). To understand your 11th (which it seems has an Aries cusp) you need to inspect the state of Mars–its sign and what it aspects will be telling. And no, the grouping of Saturn, Venus, and Uranus isn’t explosive, though these energies may compete for expression within you–Jupiter’s trine likely exaggerates the need at any one time for each to express, and that may feel explosive from within. If you can get them working in concert and expressing through the work or daily activities (perhaps channeled through the Sag 7th audience, partner, or artistic venue), then you could have a Sag-oriented asset array at your disposal.
LikeLike
Hello Julie,
I actually just came across your site today and i’ve basically read all of your pages and recent posts. They’re very insightful! I’ve only recently started to study astrology and who knew it was so nuanced!!! i remember when i thought astrology only encompassed sun signs lol.
As far as my 11th house, I have Taurus on the cusp with jupiter at 29 degrees and Venus in Gemini also in the 11th. Jupiter sextiles my Sun/Leo rising conjuction and also sextiles my Aries Mars. Venus squares my moon in virgo in the 3rd and sextiles my MC.
Jupiter rules my 6th and Venus rules my 11th and 4th.
So I assume planets in houses that rule people influence the way those people see you?
Again, so nuanced!
My friends tell me i’m a flirt, random, confident, REALLY energetic and that i’m funny and talk a lot (also sometimes vain). I understand the flirtiness, randomness, and sociability are attributed to Venus in Gemini and maybe the humor comes from Jupiter, but does the fact that they see me as energetic and confident come from the connections the planets make outside the 11th house?
Hi Amari, thank you for your kind words. To answer your question, planets in Houses influence the way you interact with those people, not the other way around, though as you are ‘living’ those energies others may certainly recognize them and identify them with you. As to the personality complex you describe, I would not narrow characteristics to a single placement, as one needs to find corroboration for specific ideas at more than one point in the chart. Good luck with your studies!
LikeLike
Ok, wow. Thanks!
LikeLike