We can never directly observe ourselves; no matter how quickly we turn, trying to catch a glimpse of our profile in the mirror (this was a childhood goal of mine!) we are destined not to succeed. We cannot observe ourselves from within ourselves, and even seeing ourselves on film isn’t adequate to convey who we are and how we come across to others, as film is once removed, losing the perceptual aura that comes with immediacy, with being in the moment. The natal chart offers us many clues as to how others perceive us under various circumstances, but one of the most intriguing is that of friendship. These are unique interactions, simply because we truly do choose our friends; without the compulsions that come with being related, or thrown together by need or circumstance, we label others as friends on a completely voluntary basis. Because of this, our chosen friendships can say a great deal about who we are, and so, to know how we’re perceived can be exceptionally revealing of one’s ‘real’ interests and personality.

Since only the individual can declare just who they consider to be a friend, a very subjective designation, I thought it best to investigate this subject from the inside out, so I’ll use myself as an example. First I looked for commonalities among those I consider close, long-term friends, and found a startling one: to a person, they all carry the Sun within the first 15 degrees of the Cardinal signs. What sense does that make? I wondered, as I have Sagittarius on the empty 11th, and I know this to be a fairly accurate symbolism for the way others perceive me as a friend; informal ‘knowledge exchange’ is often a part of things, as are an interest in travel and other cultures, in religion and all kinds of ‘politics,’ and in exploring ‘new’ territory. Sag is ruled by Jupiter, and that’s when the oh-so-obvious connection was made: Jupiter is at 12 Libra, conjunct the Sun and Mars–one might say that, with the Sun emphasized on both sides of the equation, my friendships are Soul intent to Soul intent connections (Sun to Sun) that take a Sag perspective or approach, or have Sagittarian ‘ingredients.’ Jupiter also trines Chiron, is semi-square Venus, and sits just to one side of the Saturn/ Uranus midpoint; Jupiter also rules the 10th, perhaps implying that what you see publicly is what you get in a friendship, as well. The interesting thing is that I don’t identify myself with Sag energies at all; but I know from feedback that my friends do. Is this the case for you? Do you see yourself one way, but friends identify you another way? How does your 11th tie into the rest of your chart, and what conclusions do you draw from it?

Traditionally, the 11th House of the natal chart is said to represent our friendships, those people to whom we aren’t related and with whom we experience a rapport at some point in our lives. I’ve come to think this is a too-simplistic definition; what about those with whom we share a sibling-like relationship? Do we find them in the 3rd? And what about a spouse (7th) or lover (5th) who may also be a friend? And the boss or work colleague, employee or person with whom we have a semi-formal relationship, like one’s doctor, teacher, religious or spiritual mentor, or anyone who holds some form of authority or power over us (9th or 10th), where do we find the relationship that can develop out of these contacts? I think we may be able to do some sorting; the 11th seems to refer to one’s attitude toward and within a friendship situation of any kind. Then we locate the ‘friend category’ relative to the House where their designation falls. For instance, if we have Taurus on the 11th, we likely approach friendship slowly, warming up to someone over time, but remaining loyal over a long period as we share luxuries and experiences of the senses such as cooking and gardening. But this may also express the way others see us when they regard us as a friend. This can mean that, in the instance with Taurus on the 11th, others may see Taurean traits as emblematic of us; when they describe us, they may have abandoned a first impression (1st), ‘Soul’ (Sun) view, or a view based on emotional connection (the Moon), in favor of a Taurus-oriented perception such as “He loves to eat!” or “She usually dresses in velvet.” When we look at the person who says this of us, we find him in the 3rd (he’s our brother), with Virgo on the 3rd cusp. How do Venus (ruler of Taurus) and Mercury (ruler of Virgo) mix? If they are conjunct we may be very close, then intensely combative, by turns; but if Venus is combust the Sun, and Mercury is not, we may see an attitude toward the relationship (and toward friendship in general) that says, “Yes, I like to share a good meal, but ultimately, my energy goes to my life purpose,” greatly reducing the likely importance (and the potential for depth and harmony) in the sibling relationship.

I’ll be back in a bit with some examples of how we can look at our charts to, at least to some extent, see what others see, and to talk about how our ideas of friendship may mesh with the way we see others through the lens of our own chart.

Some excellent reflections on friendship are at http://zenhabits.net/

As an astrologer I’m continually confronted with the assertion that the natal placements prevent or cause a particular behavior. For instance, someone may say, “I’m not able to express myself freely; it’s my Mercury in Capricorn.” To this I want to shout (contrary to every extant stereotype of my Mercury in Libra), “No no no! Placements do not define or confine one’s behavior, they describe innate qualities.” In other words, planetary placements are symbolic of those traits inherent to who you are–and, as an astrologer, I would also suggest that they reveal facets of the Soul as they have evolved over time (or over lifetimes, if you prefer). So, one may not always have suffered the reticence of Mercury in Capricorn; but the accumulated experience particular to the individual has led the internal Mercurial tendencies to aggregate at this point as Capricornian ones.

When we think of our planetary placements as having evolved, we can see why a natal chart can be very difficult to read; there are always many possible manifestations of an energy, and these possibilities are compounded by the presence of aspects, which in turn have their own spectrum of possibilities. Yes, it can be a dizzying, endless kaleidoscope–but we can narrow the possibilities simply by looking at the aspects presented by any natal chart as they accumulate influences. For example, we may run across a chart that has many of the energies in difficult aspect to Saturn, and the initial inclination may be to state that this person is excessively repressed or severe; but when we see that Aries is on the ASC (promising at the very least an assertive temperament), and we then see that Saturn is in the sign of its exaltation (Libra), conjunct a Venus/ Sun also in Libra, all in the 7th, and with Uranus sextile Saturn, we may have to reassess our assumptions–we may entertain the possibility that this is an entity who invents or builds beautiful things, who has a kind of spiritual investment in bringing beauty into material being, perhaps in a stylish and innovative way, and that this person may in fact by a very successful and capable businessperson or ‘builder’ in one way or another. But are these things dictated by the chart? No, they merely reflect what is innate–it’s up to us to shape and form them–that’s why relating the life circumstances to the chart, while frowned upon by those who see astrology as a parlor trick meant to astound, is vital to both a correct interpretation and to offering the client useful and accurate information.

Let’s look at a single character trait (as much as we’re able to separate the character into slices and bits), the power urge, through its obvious manifestation in Pluto.  Our subject is a woman, whose birth time is fairly well established (Rodden rating of B). Pluto sits in Libra in the 7th, rules the 8th and 9th, with the Earth and Uranus in Scorpio in the 8th. Pluto’s aspects are: a square to Juno and one to Jupiter (rules the MC), making it the arm of a T-square; a trine to Neptune (rules intercepted 1st); and a pair of inconjuncts to an exact sextile between Mars (rules second interception in the 1st) and Saturn (rules 11th and 12th), making this Pluto the apex of a Finger of God vis a vis Mars and Saturn. With Pluto in the 7th and in Libra a natural power outlet might come through marriage, and for this woman that is indeed the case; it also suggests that one’s power may be ‘on stage’ or observed by a form of ‘audience.’ This might immediately cause us to characterize this woman as ‘power hungry,’ or as one who married for power by proxy, or for status (square to Jupiter, MC ruler). But, when we look further, we might realize that could be an unfair assessment: the relationship to Mars/ Saturn says that both action and restraint are required in order to realize Pluto, a tough balancing act–this configuration also suggests that development of assertion/ action/ ego and Self-discipline and regard for effort and the status quo (Saturn) is required before personal power can be exercised (the FOG configuration). So, she’s likely to attain power only through personal discipline, in spite of the position conferred by marriage, and this is reinforced by the square to Juno, indicator of personal empowerment, particularly for women. What, then, of the trine to Neptune? We might assume a certain facet of delusion, or the tendency to delude others, with this as intercepted ruler of the 1st–but when we consider to whom this chart belongs, some things ‘pop into’ perspective, and the meaning of others becomes startlingly apparent. This chart belongs to Empress Catherine (the Great) of Russia (May 2, 1729, 2:30 AM LMT, Stettin, Germany), who came to power through marriage to Peter III of Russia, who ultimately went mad, with Catherine needing to ‘take the reins’ to prevent the country’s fall into chaos. She needed the support of the people (8th rulership, square to society-Jupiter) to be successful running a country of which she was not a native, though Pluto’s rulership of the 9th made her a natural to express power somewhere other than her homeland, and likely cued her acceptance. She did a great deal to modernize the country (Aquarius ASC and North Node), though some of her decrees (such as the order that officers in her army were no longer to go to bed wearing their boots) only served to show how far behind Europe Russia was at that point. The most interesting manifestation, though, is the trine to Neptune; Catherine was willing to deceive herself as she aged, allowing a series of lovers to fool her in one way or another, with the most famous being Potemkin, whose name is still used to suggest a facade meant to deceive; he had entire fake villages and towns, consisting of false fronts and peasants in finery, erected along the routes Catherine traveled, in order to persuade her he was doing a good job and that the country was prospering. Without context, the relationship to power shown in this chart wouldn’t be half as meaningful; and we must remember, too, that, as for all of us, Catherine displayed nothing in life that didn’t have a corollary within the chart.