The 29th is a day when no new aspects perfect, so maybe we should take some time to look at one of those topics I previously asked readers to submit.
“Thank you for your offer. If you choose so, I’d like to hear about my Moon square Asc aspect (birth data redacted for privacy). For the last few years, I’ve been trying to align questions about responsibilities (work, family, relationships, community) with what I consider my free will, independence, identity (I work in artistic field). Maybe it’s a never-ending process. Wish I could feel more decisive/confident with my choices/path.”
I can tell you with confidence that reconciling a natal square is a never-ending process; no matter how well we do at resolving the conflict and expressing the energies, we can always lift the expression of those energies to ever-higher forms–and that translates to a life-long fine-tuning process. So, the individual describes a pull between the Will and identity and those larger responsibilities that involve others–and the first thing we see in the chart is that the Moon rules the 4th of family of origin, which immediately emphasizes the perhaps perpetual conflict between the individual emotional experience and familial expectations. The personality of the individual, and the way that individual interacts with the world, is in some way at odds with the role or expectations within the family, in conflict with the concept of ‘home’ as they understand it, and/ or in basic discord with one or both parental figures. Ironically, though, the Moon is in the Capricorn 10th, suggesting that duty and a close link to one or both parents is actually what makes this Moon comfortable–so it may be that phrasing this square as an identity vs. obligations challenge is a bit of a distraction, at least in terms of emotional expression–it may really be that it’s the manner of reaching out to the world (the Ascendant) that makes this person emotionally uncomfortable.
What we see with the 10th House Moon ruling the 4th House suggests a kind of ‘tag team’ of authority and nurture from the parents, with the individual’s Moon in Capricorn in the 10th ruling the 4th, and Ceres, mother and authority, posited in the 4th in Cancer. These parents work together, and may see imposing rules and boundaries, expectations and goals, as a form of nurture–and a Capricorn Moon clearly sees it that way, too.
But the Ascendant, the way the individual interacts with and presents the Self to the world on first meeting, the persona and personality, is keyed to the energies of Aries–and that’s an energy that says, ‘I can do it myself, I want to do it my way, follow me!’ The Ascendant, in fact, is apex to a Finger of God with a base of Neptune, an almost Cazimi Sun-Mercury, and Venus, all in Scorpio in the 8th, and Uranus in Virgo in the 6th (and we note a close-but-no-cigar Finger combo of Mars and Pluto in Virgo, just outside comfortable quincunx range). This may be why it feels as if the emotions aren’t being served: an enormous amount of creative, identity/ Soul, communication, and relationship energy is interacting with the most original and unique impulses and then funneled out to the world through the personality, with the base placements in 6th and 8th suggesting a reliance on input/ feedback/ cooperation and understanding from others, especially through the course of work and discharge of duties–this individual can’t express things they find meaningful without others–and the individual feels they must be at the head of the line, leading, guiding, doing (Aries apex)–and yet we must remember that the outlet of the Ascendant carries a fundamental discord with the emotional nature via the square, which we might sum up as ‘duty (to parents, career, or convention-Capricorn, on which the feelings depend for a sense of well-being) vs. ‘a need to trail-blaze, express the individual Will, to have one’s say and way as an outlet to so many of the basic energies, including the Soul’s reasons for being here (Sun in aspect to the Aries Ascendant).
Add to this that the Capricorn Moon, which naturally aspects all that the Ascendant aspects, also happens to lie at the rough midpoint of the Sun grouping and the 12th House Chiron-Saturn-Black Moon Lilith in Pisces–which does not aspect the Ascendant. What! What? And now we see/ feel what is pestering the feeling nature that is on its own essentially at ease with the Soul/ communication/ love and creative nature and with the Uranian need for original expression, and with the Martian-Plutonian need to act and feel of consequence within the world. What the Moon is not at ease with is the way all these energies are expressed through the Ascendant–that’s where the conflict lies.
Too, that Uranus-Mars-Pluto grouping, such a dynamic and urgent mixture, requiring action, spontaneity, and a certain amount of power, directly conflicts (opposition) with Chiron-Saturn-Black Moon Lilith. It may be that action, especially spontaneous or unusual action, or action that seeks to create power and impact for the Self, stirs unconscious (12th) anger, resentment, and guilt–and so creates a feedback loop that hides the hurt, even as the emotional nature is highly aware of it (Saturn ruling the Moon)–and these angers and hurts are possibly brought into real-world circumstances periodically, as the unconscious ‘reaches out’ and orchestrates physical reality (Saturn).
The Moon contact to Chiron-Saturn-Black Moon Lilith implies that what’s really, really hidden, ignored, denied, or that enrages has also wounded, and the individual senses this (12th House) through the Moon’s emotional and intuitive faculties. Saturn of this grouping rules the Moon–and though the Soul’s expression is muy simpatico with what’s hurt and hidden (Sun group trine Saturn group), as is the feeling nature (Moon), we see the personality, the part that wants to meet the world head-on, the Martian-ruled Ascendant and the ‘I Am’ energies of Mars-Pluto and respect for uniqueness that is Uranus, is not simpatico.
The conflict, then, is a knotty one, and not easily (or possibly ever) resolvable. There are several things you might try to help make the energies more at ease with one another, with a focus on honoring the choices and career path, which you mention not having as much confidence in as you’d like. First, know that the emotions and emotional feedback will, for you, be much more reliable an indicator of right choice and right career than anything else. You are definitely meant to express your creative nature, to emphasize what you see of beauty and worth; your feelings will also be an excellent guide in responding to responsibilities and obligations, especially those involving the family. Most of your Water placements are in ‘soft’ aspect to the Earth Moon, and they find a great deal of emotional sustenance and nurture through real-world expression of what the emotions and the Soul both need and perceive.
It’s the ego or individual Will that cooks up problems; despite the way Mars-Pluto has found to cooperate with the Soul, it takes constant adjustments (the quincunxes of the Finger) for the creative, Soul, emotional, and action energies to express through the Arian personality–and that automatically means that the Martian ‘doing’ energies and the sheer Will have too big a say in choices and actions. The ego-power-individuality is also ‘against’ conscious awareness of hurt, vulnerabilities, and deep anger, especially when they’re observed in the real world–and that kind of denial can cripple creativity and relationships, as the ego insists on not looking at the negative, on powering through. So, honor the feeling nature more, and give it more trust–it’s best placed to handle, negotiate among, and facilitate the other charts energies, and can guide you in a much more perceptive way than the Will or ego can do.
I hope this helps, dear Seeker! Back to ‘Good Day To . . . ‘ tomorrow!