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Julie Demboski's ASTROLOGY

~ Addressing the Individual Experience Within the Universal Truth

Julie Demboski's ASTROLOGY

Tag Archives: relationship

The Mother of Them All

10 Sunday May 2015

Posted by juliedemboski in aspects and placements, astrology, relationship astrology

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Christina Crawford, Joan Crawford, mother/child, relationship

Here’s a Mother’s Day re-print, y’all! Happy Mother’s Day!

I really think there are many more maternal figures since Medea lost it who are worse than our subject; but it’s undeniable that her name has become a catchphrase for over-the-top histrionics and abuse (as well as the scourge of dry cleaners, through the admonition, “No! Wire! Hangars!”) Yes, I’m talking about the much maligned, and now nearly iconic symbol of dysfunctional mothering, actress and one-time Pepsico CEO Joan Crawford (23 March 1903, 10:00 PM, San Antonio Texas). To be fair to Joan, after a brief perusal of the mothering related factors in her chart, we’ll look at the chart of the adopted daughter who brought Joan’s alleged behavior to light, Christina Crawford (11 June 1939, 3:00 PM, Los Angeles California).

The attitude toward children in general, and one’s children in particular, is found in the 5th; for the senior Ms. Crawford, this is ruled by Neptune, alerting us immediately to the possibility that this woman does not see children in a realistic light. Neptune is in the 8th at 00 Cancer, implying that she may see children as a resource (something she was indeed accused of, in the sense of using her adopted children as props and a PR ploy), with the 00 placement in Cancer pointing up the emotional newness, even rawness, of Neptune related subjects–interesting in light of her lifelong occupation of film acting, with the 8th placement suggesting that she may have easily gained the support of others in this.

Neptune ruler, and symbol of both the mothering Joan received herself, and the attitude she carried toward mothering in general, the Moon, sits in Aquarius less than one degree from conjunction with Saturn, both in the 3rd. This is a combination for emotional repression, even coldness, as the emotions are processed intellectually; sitting in the 3rd this emphasized the mental approach to emotions, and this was communicated, whether she wanted others to see it or not. The Moon also trines Mars and Earth in Libra, marrying the emotions almost too easily to the material and to the ego and aggressive/ assertive urges, and the Moon sextiles Vesta and the Sun in Aries, making emotional challenges seem like ones that threaten her very identity, and giving the emotional scenario a label of ‘sacred’–no one may contradict her emotional interpretation! The Moon also sextiles Juno in the 1st, making her Self empowered through emotional expression. So, though the emotions are directly suppressed, we see they have plenty of real-world outlets, along with many underlying assumptions about their sacrosanct nature.

Mars, ruler of the Sun and already part of the equation through contact with the Moon, rules the 6th of duty and everyday happenings/ routine, and holds Venus in Aries, valuing the martial spirit and the kind of strict, military style routines her adoptive daughter said were a household staple. Chiron, which can often show a wound that drives much of our compulsive behavior, is isolated in Capricorn at the bottom of the chart, suggesting attempts to stave off the wound and attendant bad feelings about the Self may have taken the form of extreme discipline and repression. Chiron sits at the midpoint of a square between Juno (Self-empowerment) and Jupiter (society), implying she might have seen these two interests as in conflict, setting up a ‘Joan vs. everyone else’ dynamic.

But does she really fit the model of a ‘devouring mother’? Pluto is essential to that picture, and in Joan Crawford’s chart it is chart ruler, posited in the 8th, opposes Uranus, ruler of the 4th, and square Piscean Mercury, which brings us back to Neptune. This suggests that she may have been tempted to destroy the very people and things that supported her, that she may have been in an internal death struggle with her own expression of individuality and a longing to be part of the group, and that she was as likely to communicate destructively as she was to communicate in a way that reflected her (somewhat disconnected from reality–see Neptune’s situation) ideals. Though she certainly qualifies as responding to the devouring Archetype, she seems more a figure to be pitied than condemned; the emotional dysfunctions and woundedness that drove her were not easily dealt with, even for someone Self-aware. Ms. Crawford seems to have been unwilling, and perhaps even unable, to recognize her own distorted nature.

Adopted daughter Christina (11 June 1939, 3:00 PM, Los Angeles California) may have had her own motivations (aside from just revealing events) in writing her tell-all book, ‘Mommie Dearest.’ The view of the mother is found in the 10th, and the experience of mothering received in the state of the Moon. Leo is on the 10th cusp, with ruler Sun in the 8th in Gemini and conjunct Mercury. The Sun is sesquiquadrate Mars in Aquarius at the bottom of the chart–it just happens to conjunct Joan’s Moon. Where else would Christina’s ego and aggressive urges, intellectualtized and hidden deep inside herself, go for outlet, but to Mommie? Her Moon is in Aries (ruled by the instrument of her ego/ anger/ assertion); the Moon rules the 9th of publishing, and is square Chiron (the primal wound) in Cancer (Mom again!) and is conjunct Jupiter, which rules the intercepted 2nd, suggesting that perhaps there was a deeply hidden idea of the Self as ‘big’ and in connection to the other energies may have felt the only way to express this ‘bigness’ was through the emotions (Moon/ Jupiter conjunct).

Of course, just because someone has Jupiter connected to the 2nd, it doesn’t mean they have an inflated Self-worth; but I do remember distinctly that the book featured many episodes where Christina asserted her talents failed to be recognized. I recall wondering what talents and abilities she repeatedly referred to in the abstract, as she seemed to take for granted that the reader assumed her to be almost magically accomplished and talented, though she made virtually no direct reference to exactly what those talents were. 5th House (creativity) Jupiter happens to be, among other salient aspects, trine Pluto, implying a syndrome I’ve seen at work before (and first saw mentioned in the work of the great Grant Lewi): frustrated individuals with Jupiter/ Pluto aspects often believe they possess a whole list of imaginary attributes; the unfortunate part is that they judge themselves on these, and miss connecting with their real talents, and thus short-circuit their opportunities in reality. I believe this particular kind of magical thinking was at work in Christina. Also of note: her Aries Moon is conjunct Joan’s Sun. Reincarnationists will of course enjoy that; I’ll just say that this speaks of the child’s emotional state (and needs) meeting the ego/ identity/ Soul of the mother, head on; could it have felt to both like there was competition for recognition of each of these needs/ energies in the other? Even looking at only the couple of contacts between these two charts we’ve mentioned (Mars/ Moon, Moon/ Sun), we can see that, no matter how Christina was treated, she likely would have seen Joan as trying to outshine her, and perhaps, in disowning her own aggression, Christina more than a little contributed to the situation that came about; even children have the full pallet of urges and attributes–when we forget that, we infantilize (and fail to respect) them, and put our ability to have a fulfilling relationship with them in peril.

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What You’re Asking: Eros in Public, An Emo Ghost, and Stalker Synastry

05 Tuesday Aug 2014

Posted by juliedemboski in Eros, Gemini, Midheaven, Relationship Advice, Venus and Psyche

≈ Comments Off on What You’re Asking: Eros in Public, An Emo Ghost, and Stalker Synastry

Tags

'Been There, astrology, Done That', Eros, Gemini, Midheaven, real life astrology, relationship, stalkers

Katsushika Hokusai (葛飾北斎) 'The Lantern Ghost' c1830  {{PD-Japan-oldphoto}}

Katsushika Hokusai (葛飾北斎) ‘The Lantern Ghost’ c1830 {{PD-Japan-oldphoto}}

This is a re-print from ‘Been There, Done That’, my relationship site; phrases below in italics are taken from internet searches that have brought individuals to my sites.  I hope you enjoy this article (once again, perhaps?)

Eros conjunct the Midheaven

In the chart of an individual, Eros conjoined the Midheaven will likely manifest as an eroticization of the career or public function; in other words, he or she will be turned on by the professional role, and/or by their own exposure (and I use that word intentionally) in the public arena. This can have very innocent results–someone super-dedicated to the role they play in life can be the result, the consummate professional who excels because they’re truly dedicated to what they do–or it can bring about the kind of person who participates very eagerly in life–they ‘play the game’ with gusto. This can also be someone who thrives on the attention of the crowd, and particularly likes to hear about themselves and their reputations–a kind of reverse gossip, who wants to hear it all, as long as it’s about him or her! It can also signal someone who’s very open and honest about their proclivities, or someone who doesn’t mind others knowing what they truly are turned on by–they show preferences with no holding back, no shame, very healthy as they let others look on minus any hesitation about others knowing who they are–because to them, the private stuff lies elsewhere. And yes, it can also signal someone for whom their own public image is eroticized, with those observing seeing them as a sexual object, or as personifying an idealized sexual image as prescribed by the relevant society or even social circle. See an example here

Cross-chart, if one person’s Eros conjuncts another’s MC, we see the Eros person turned on by the career and/or public image of the other person–this could be a celebrity-chaser, or someone who often finds themselves attracted to those that others admire, with or without it making any sense. The response of the MC person will depend largely on that person’s feeling about receiving that erotic projection; if it fits their own ideas about themselves, they may thoroughly enjoy it–if it’s at odds with the way they see themselves (or the way they believe the other person should perceive them) then it can be a disquieting experience to interact with the Eros individual–minds will be changed, or the MC person will beat feet out of there fast, out of sheer discomfort!

Don’t confuse Eros with love; it is, instead, focused desire with the intention to possess that upon which it’s fixed–and though sometimes that feels like love, it’s really a type of projection, a decision to mentally overlay the person or object (because yes, they call fetishes and toys and talismans and such ‘erotica’ for a reason!) with sexual meaning.

Do Gemini men indulge in adultery?

They’re human, aren’t they? No sign is immune to any behavior,  just as no sign guarantees a behavior–we’re much more complex than that. Here’s my thought: if you’re asking the question, then you’re not feeling secure in the relationship–so the next issue becomes, Is it you, or is it him? Sometimes we project our own proclivities onto others; in this case, you might be prone to stray yourself, or, more likely, you might be unreliable, and this could translate into a need to constantly be reassured in whatever life area you are least secure, in this case, the romantic one. Or, this could genuinely be your intuition speaking. Only you know for sure.

husband not emotionally there

My heart (and the hearts of many of my readers) definitely go out to you. It’s not easy trying to relate to someone who seems unreachable on any but an intellectual level. That said, we must acknowledge that your husband’s emotions exist–and it’s important to say this, as it’s easy to pretend that someone not showing emotion doesn’t have emotions. And that suggests that he’s either feeling alienated from his own emotions (via depression) or that he is hiding his feelings from you.

I don’t mean to be glib, but it seems to me that if your husband is not emotionally there, with you, then he must be somewhere else–and I think that in some circumstances, this is the reality we don’t want to face. If this happens to strike a chord with you, the first thing you must do is face that, though a relationship consists of many facets, and connects at many levels, a marital relationship without emotional engagement basically negates all but the legal definition of the pact; marriage is, at its very essence, an emotional communion–and without that, you may be looking at the fact that the marriage no longer exists.

It’s essential that you understand a few things before you make any decisions or pronouncements: that your husband has disengaged for a reason–it may be one he needs help with (like depression) or may be one he will fiercely deny or defend against (infidelity, emotional or physical, a change in his feelings toward you, a spiritual path that may have turned him strongly toward considering only himself–and this latter should’ve lead him to formally end a relationship with you long before, so it’s not a more ‘noble’ excuse). You must also recognize that you cannot control his responses, nor should you try; though there may be a feeling that he ‘owes you’ (as implied by some readings of the marriage vows) sorting this out is not helped by judgments or demands, though it’s true that as your partner, he needs to acknowledge and deal with his own disengagement. You must also acknowledge your own, true feelings; sometimes we are as disengaged as our partner, but don’t want to see it–and sometimes we simply want to extract ‘payment’ in some form, for the pain we feel they’ve caused–but in both instances, we may not love anymore, ourselves, and are misrepresenting our own position, out of righteousness, as well as misunderstanding our own emotional state.

Sometimes we cannot get our partner, when he’s in this state, to speak in any meaningful way about existing circumstances, and in this case, it falls to you to decide how you feel (regardless of his feelings–after all, your feelings aren’t dependent on his, are they? And if they are, then it’s high time this relationship was examined, anyway). You only have control of yourself, so once you determine your own feelings (and sort out your own needs) you’ll know whether this ghost husband is offering anything sustainable, anything that still retains the shape of a marriage, and it will be quite obvious what you must do from there. Good luck–

Why did Venus hate Psyche?

I think ‘hate’ is the wrong word here–I think Venus was threatened by Psyche’s beauty, and that would make her both envious (wanting what Psyche has) and jealous (when Venus’ son Eros, whose full attention Venus had up to this point, falls in love with Psyche–Venus wants the attention of Eros, that Psyche now has). It just illustrates the idea that a woman who tries to destroy another woman hates a little part of herself–not a pretty picture at all.

stalker synastry

All synastry is highly dependent on the interaction of individual charts for ‘punch,’ and the synastry of a stalker to a stalkee could have any number of compelling aspects. A few include: the Pluto of the stalker to any identity energy (Sun, Moon, Venus for female, Mars for male, chart ruler, Sun or Moon ruler) of the stalked; Saturn of the stalker to these same identity energies (signalling a possible compulsion to control); Ceres (especially a female’s Ceres) to prominent chart energies; in negative Juno contact (usually more bossy than stalky); and Neptune prominent in the stalker’s chart and contacting significant energies of the stalkee–this latter obviously brings a high possibility of delusion into the mix. Still, so much depends on how these individuals use their energies, that just having some of these contacts doesn’t necessarily promise obsession–whew!

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What You’re Asking: Dream On, Time Travel, and, Bare-Naked etc.

28 Sunday Feb 2010

Posted by juliedemboski in aspects and placements, astrology, Dark of the Moon, Dreams, Earth, Juno, Mercury retrograde

≈ Comments Off on What You’re Asking: Dream On, Time Travel, and, Bare-Naked etc.

Tags

astrogrrl, astrology, Dream Interpretation and astrology, Mercury retrograde, relationship, relationship astrology

Jean Lecomte du Nouy 1842-1923 A Eunuch’s Dream {{PD-Art}} Wikimedia Commons

I’m back with another set of search terms found in my stats; sometimes illuminating, sometimes creepy, puzzling, or weird, and sometimes confusing. I bring you the best of them.

dream interpretation of marrying yourself

Shorthand for this would be, perhaps, Oneness, a unity of spirit, the resolution of some internal schism, or making a commitment to honor and care for yourself–all excellent, so the dream is likely an indicator of superior internal (mental, emotional, and spiritual) health. In the natal chart we might see dreams like this when either we have been facing an internal divide, typically between ideals and values (Vesta, Neptune, Venus) v. what our external world, the group, or our role, calls for (Sun, Jupiter, Uranus), with one in one set making hard contact (conjunction, square, quincunx, opposition) to one in the other set, though there are a number of other players that, under the right circumstances (sign or House placement, or natal relationship to a stellium or other complex) would fit the bill; or we may see this kind of dream when one’s attitude toward oneself changes significantly for the better (potentially shown in the chart by Solar Arc contact to the Sun or chart ruler, or contact from a transiting body such as Pluto), and likely triggered as the Moon transits the 12th House, or contacts Neptune.

dream symbol Solar eclipse

This seems a warning, and a call for questions: are you being eclipsed in some sense, with someone or something ‘blocking your light’ symbolically? Is someone coming between you and your material needs or goals, your prosperity, your sense of groundedness and reality, and secondarily, might they be using emotional manipulation to do it (the scenario of Moon coming between Earth and Sun)? Are your own emotions blocking the connection of Soul and Material Purposes (represented in the chart by the Sun/ Earth axis)? Are you being kept from enjoying your chance to shine? There is the chance that you may be observing someone or something else in the life being eclipsed, but this is likely only if there are other aspects of the dream (perhaps you are riding as a passenger on a bus when you witness the event, or are gathered with others in a crowd, and all are pointing and commenting). Certainly this is a dream image that calls for Self-questioning, and the courage to see what you may not, to this point, have acknowledged or admitted.

when the eye is very badle blood shot

Not astrologically oriented, really, but I loved the spelling, which made me think someone had Googled from the Middle Ages. All I can say is, maybe something very Arian, or Neptunian, happened the night before.

mercury retrograde + people don’t mean what they say

Putting it this way is really wishful thinking, because there’s no reason someone wouldn’t mean what they say during Merc retro; what you’re thinking about, though, may be the tendency people have to later regret or otherwise wish they could take back what’s pronounced when the Trickster’s at work. So, it’s really something the speaker must conclude after the retrograde is over, not something we as listeners should count on to negate something we’d rather not hear spoken during Mercury’s backward motion.

his Juno on my Ascendant

If you’re looking to partner with a guy whose Juno falls on your Ascendant, then this is pretty good news: the way you present yourself is just what he’s looking for. Trouble comes if the way you present yourself is considerably at odds with your most characteristic energies, for example, if your Ascendant is in Capricorn but your Sun is in Cancer, the essence of who you are may vary wildly from who you seem to be on first meeting. Whether this works out well in the end is a question of many other chart interactions, but with his Juno on your Ascendant you’re off to a good start.

Aries Moon in child’s natal chart

Though it’s a time honored tradition in many cultures to draw a horoscope at a child’s birth, I no longer work with children’s charts except in very special cases. My feeling is (and I’ve observed this often) that when we introduce the chart to the parent (and the parent likely has some astrological knowledge or they wouldn’t have sought out a chart in the first place) there is too strong a tendency to read the chart and then read those traits they think they see into the child. I feel it puts a filter on a parent’s perceptions that shouldn’t be there, not if they want to meet their child with an openness to who they are, and a fresh perspective that doesn’t search for or attempt to squash what they feel is negative, or superimpose something they see as positive that may be astrologically recessive, or take a form other than the one the parent visualizes. But, by about the time the child turns fifteen, I would urge every parent to have a look at that chart, especially with the guidance of a competent astrologer who is versed in child development–it can answer a lot of questions, and explain some mysteries, right at the time when the parent needs a little more perspective, and the child needs a little more understanding, in order to collaborate successfully.

location of starry mirror

I have no idea, but when you find it, please let me know.

young boys sleeping nude/ ‘dark of the moon’ nudity

These two searches came up within days of each other, and I found it unsettling that anyone was looking for anything on young boys etc. I don’t have any idea how the first search came to my site, but the second is obviously connected to the Dark of the Moon, those three days preceding the New Moon (conjunction of Sun and Moon) that begins a new lunar month. The Dark period is one for retreat, contemplation, meditation, and a pull-back from action–but associated with nudity? Maybe, if we see the turning inward called for by the period as one of spiritual nakedness, wherein we put aside our social trappings in favor of personal, bare-souled introspection. But, are we more prone to take our clothes off? I have no idea!

Get a gander at my books here http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com

 

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Juno in Synastry: Dylan and Baez

16 Saturday May 2009

Posted by juliedemboski in aspects and placements, astrology, Juno, relationship astrology

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Juno, relationship, relationship astrology

 

Baez DylanWho better as an example of Juno’s influence in relationship than in the now-kaput affair between the ersatz royalty of the Folkie-Protest movement, balladeers Bob Dylan and Joan Baez? Their birthdays are only a handful of months apart, so to delineate meaning we must look at what’s different, rather than what’s the same, but we must also note that a mirror effect occurs; sometimes a Juno aspect in the chart is echoed cross-chart, because the Junos are conjunct, and this suggests that these partners acted to externalize for each other some of the Juno dynamic that was also an internal dynamic for each. 

In Dylan’s chart (24 May 1941  9:05 PM Duluth MN USA) his Juno (28 Leo 49) fills in a T-square to his Gemini Sun/ Sagittarius Earth axis (he may feel that empowered women, as well as his own anima, clash with his Soul and Material Direction); Juno also squares Pallas (which is conjunct Earth, and so involved in the T-square) and this suggests that for him the concept of wisdom is at odds with the idea of partnership, as if he cannot accept that a partner can be wise! Juno squares the Jupiter/ Uranus conjunction (again, a threat, this time to the freedom and individuality); and Juno quincunxes the South Node (in this case, a ‘never goin’ there with a woman again!’ position). All these perceptions are really cemented in place, as Juno is conjunct Vesta, signifying that his internal ideas about partnership/ the mate are sacred, and will always trump reality. If you know Dylan and his work, you know his persona is notoriously hard to pin down, a ramblin’ man in more ways than one, and his Juno in Leo suggests he wants a woman/ partner who ‘shines’ with strength and purpose (the Sun)–a tough thing for a woman to fulfill, when his Juno aspects insist that she will, in the end, be fallible and unreliable. Dylan plants the seeds of the end of the relationship before it even begins, in an inability to trust, or accept the wisdom of, a partner.
Dylan’s beliefs about women as shown in his natal chart are perfectly reflected here in his song, ‘Don’t think twice, it’s alright’ 

It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don’t matter, anyhow
An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don’t know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
Don’t think twice, it’s all right
It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
So don’t think twice, it’s all right
It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
I can’t hear you any more
I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin’ all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don’t think twice, it’s all right
I’m walkin’ down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
But goodbye’s too good a word, gal
So I’ll just say fare thee well
I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

While for Dylan the Juno interactions are in essence challenges to his idea of himself as a man, Joan (9 January 1941  10:45 AM Staten Island NY USA) Baez’s Juno (7 Virgo 16) presents a quandry concerning her internal workings: empowerment threatens the emotions and the intuitive and feeling nature, and vice versa.  Baez’s Juno also creates a T-square, this time with her Mars/ Moon opposition (the feeling nature at odds with the action/ ego/ animus, and both threatened by her own empowerment); Juno also happens to be square Ceres, which is conjunct Mars, and this speaks volumes on the conflict between the natural creative energies of Ceres, their ‘alliance’ with the ego and action urges (as well as with her idea of the ‘ideal man’) and the need for empowerment–and it spells out the idea that Joan may see the man in her life as the elementally creative one, and that this doesn’t support her own empowerment situation. Juno also trines the Jupiter/ Saturn conjunction (empowerment assists reaching out, feeling free, and building something meaningful); and Juno trines the Midheaven (empowerment aids the career) and quincunxes the South Node (in this case, suggesting that past experiences have not given her the impression that empowerment is a positive thing). If you know Baez, then you know she built her career on the image of being a strong and capable woman, and her Juno in Virgo is the epitome of just those qualities–we have to wonder, though, what toll it took on the feeling nature, and on relationships with men, considering the chart indicators. And there’s something else here, and that is that Baez’s Juno, though embroiled in an internal struggle, measures its effectiveness as does any woman’s Juno, in its interactions with the external world and relationships; it’s an outward-looking energy, and her work based on the relationship with Dylan reflects this.
The state of Joan’s Juno and its attention to the partner is well-illustrated here, in ‘Diamonds and Rust’ (notice the references to the Madonna, the Moon, and the girl on the half-shell, obviously Venus, all of which are traditional female symbols and all of which in this instance seem to support the mo-jo of the male caller from the past).

Well I’ll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that’s not unusual
It’s just that the moon is full
And you happened to call
And here I sit
Hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I’d known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall
As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin’s eggs
My poetry was lousy you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the midwest
Ten years ago
I bought you some cufflinks
You brought me something
We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust
Well you burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms
And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed
Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you’re smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square
Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there
Now you’re telling me
You’re not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It’s all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you’re offering me diamonds and rust
I’ve already paid

Cross-chart there are many echoes that actively externalize the internal. The differences, though, tell the story: Joan’s Juno opposes Bob’s Pisces Mars, telling us her state of empowerment is directly at odds with who he is as a man; and his Juno trines her Venus, suggesting that who she is as a woman is in keeping with his idea of an appropriate mate/ partner. However, when you’ve got both Junos square her Moon/ Mars opposition, you’ve got not only her internal discord but his interaction creating a similar dynamic, adding the idea that anything he views as empowered behavior will be at odds with her emotional and assertive/ ego nature, as well as being in disagreement with her vision of the ‘ideal man.’ As well, with her Juno opposed his Mars, every time she exerts her own empowerment he would likely feel wounded as a man, especially so with Mars in Pisces, as this Mars would likely see itself as all lovey-dovey and peace, man, and her Juno would be at the very least demanding accountability, and perhaps bringing criticism into the mix.
The two most telling contacts are probably his Juno square her Moon–what woman can pair with a man whose anima would continually be challenging her emotional viewpoint?–and Dylan’s own Juno, as well as Joan’s, square his Jupiter/ Uranus conjunction; with this aspect he might as well wear a sign that says, ‘Women will take your freedom and tie you down!’ So, despite his Sun conjunct her Moon, a classic mating indicator, along with his Venus (his idea of the ‘ideal woman’) in Gemini in wide conjunction with her Moon, Juno tells us that there are too many upsets inherent in her empowerment, both internal and external ones, and too many beliefs on his part that a strong woman will somehow restrict him, to let these two remain in intimate relationship for long.
This is actually an extended version of the 5th and final part of the Juno series that would have appeared at sasstrology. See my book on Juno at http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com excerpts from it here https://juliedemboski.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/excerpts-from-juno-in-the-natal-chart/   and follow my blog on relationships here http://askjulie.wordpress.com  My other books (on Chiron and on relationships) are also available at http://dogandsunflower.wordpress.com  

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Neptune-Chiron: Projection, Hurt, and Ownership

12 Tuesday May 2009

Posted by juliedemboski in astrology, Chiron, Consciousness Explored, current events in the sky, Neptune

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real life astrology, relationship

The Martyrdom of Saint Sebastian by Honore Daumier

The Martyrdom of Saint Sebastian by Honore Daumier

At least since December, when Chiron and Neptune entered each other’s orb, we’ve seen an ongoing test of our connection to reality. Now, everyone has areas they’d rather not look at too closely, places in our lives where we keep our perceptions in soft focus around the edges. I’m not speaking of those things we accept or let pass or don’t inspect too minutely, out of an already full life plate, or the simple reluctance to admit something isn’t perfect–that’s not only human, it’s probably vital to healthy functioning, as we could be easily overwhelmed by too much detail, too many things to ‘fix.’ I’m talking about those few of us with a relational disconnect in the overall world view, where the individual’s idea of who they are, and who others are, is deeply and fundamentally off.

This conjunction was early on imbued with both a spirit of Self and aggression and a mentality that framed dissonance as a personal power struggle, with the transits of both Mars and Juno to this combo.

The energy became more prominent as Jupiter neared the conjunction of Chiron/ Neptune; its presence boosts the need to project, to broadcast, related ideas and concepts as a means of expressing one’s belief in them, and thereby, at least to the mind that’s confused, proving their validity–it’s a Self-righteous energy that feeds on belief/ faith in an ideal that does not correlate to the reality picture. Jupiter also brings in the social element, the possibility of reaching out and imposing the ideas in the social sphere, again as an expression of their ‘truth’–“I wouldn’t be able to say this publicly if it weren’t true!”

The big problem with all of this is, Chiron and Neptune both hold expression pitfalls for those who are prone to fantasy, delusion, obfuscation, as the conjunction marries the urge to embrace illusion with the primal wound, the sense of hurt that, if left unclaimed and unexplored by the individual, becomes ripe for projection, and that is essentially what we’ve been seeing the past few months, an insistent sense of victimhood which has taken (temporary) hold of a dispiriting few.

How do we sort ‘true’ victims (as there are those who suffer legitimately at the hands of others) from those who have simply taken the worldview that they are victims, fueled by the easy Self-empathy of a complete mis-perception of role, actions, or intents? One easy way is to ask, where does this person ‘live’? Is their sense of Self seated in a me (or us) v. them mentality, where they are ‘done to,’ where others have bad intent, where they are a crusader for good and right in the face of those who are insensitive bullies? In this regard, anyone who disowns the potential to be the aggressor themselves becomes a candidate.

This is not, on its own, definitive, as there certainly are bullies, insensitive louts, and those who mean us harm, and sometimes the world does divide up into sides. There are other factors that distinguish those who are suffering under this transit (and suffer they do, as the pain they feel is real–the problem comes with their clear misunderstanding of where it originates). One distinguishing trait is, they are the aggressor–they pick the fight, typically based on an indignant reaction to what someone else has said or done that violates their delusional sense of Self. Often this has been sought out–the Neptune-challenged individual goes looking for a savior, or at least someone to support their fantasy Self, and when the mirror the other person holds up doesn’t show them the illusion they expect–well it must be that person’s fault, right there–the reflection is wrong, the mirror is wrong, and the person holding the mirror is wrong–because, they firmly believe, it couldn’t be them–in fact, that’s a basic assumption they enter the situation with, that in no way are they misguided, or have anything to learn–a real irony when the situation is a teaching or guidance one.

It’s also common that the person they choose to blame is someone ‘safe,’ someone who will likely not reject them, or who is not involved in the real problem. It’s almost a form of scapegoating, the ancient practice of designating someone or something as the carrier of all the village’s problems and sins, and then driving the bearer out of town–in this case the ‘village’ being the Neptune-influenced individual, who does not recognize the internal schism that prevents acknowledging the problem as their own.

How do you know when you are dealing with someone thus afflicted? “You think” may be the first words of many of their sentences–they speak as if they’re psychic (Neptune, again!) and yet what you’re hearing has no relation to what’s actually in your mind or heart–and you quickly discover that contradicting them brings out the emotional flood, anger or hurt, one and the same. They come at you claiming a wound, blaming the hurt on you, and yet this doesn’t make sense–it’s like they’ve set off huge emotional smoke bombs, deflecting attention from the real source of upset, determined to extract energy, attention, and penance from the accused–and if you’re the accused, you may think they have a point–until you realize that you are not reacting from emotion, or a need to Self-defend, and that even offered apologies or clear explanations as to your intent are ignored–the individual has a stake in taking a stance that demands you accept their indignation, and that you be responsible for their hurt, even if it doesn’t make sense, and it’s the one-sided, punishing nature of the interaction that is your biggest and best clue that this person is under the Neptune/ Chiron spell, using you as a screen for projection and Self-justification. Even those who claim to speak for the oppressed can be subject to this–for just as likely that they are correct in their remarks is the possibility that they are taking a passive-aggressive tack toward judgment and blame, typically engaging in precisely what they accuse others of.

It’s a sad situation; it can bring to ruin perfectly good relationships, as the Neptune individual does not, will not, cannot allow themselves to see the imperfection in their reasoning–as that would require a release of the illusion of victimhood–and right now, for them, that just feels too good, too safe, and perhaps is the only way they can feel right.

And to those who may feel injury at the hands of others, it’s good to remember, that no one can injure you without your consent.

You may want to check out several of the excellent posts here http://questionofmindfulness.wordpress.com/ as they touch on the same topic, and offer some facets I might have missed.

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Relationships, Anyone?

27 Monday Apr 2009

Posted by juliedemboski in astrology, Relationship Advice, relationship astrology

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relationship, relationship astrology

If you’ve got a relationship dilemma, you might want to check out my new blog, Been There, Done That http://askjulie.wordpress.com that features reader submitted questions, polls, articles (with special attention to the asteroids) and reader comments.

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