What You’re Asking: Eros in Public, An Emo Ghost, and Stalker Synastry

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Katsushika Hokusai (葛飾北斎) 'The Lantern Ghost' c1830  {{PD-Japan-oldphoto}}

Katsushika Hokusai (葛飾北斎) ‘The Lantern Ghost’ c1830 {{PD-Japan-oldphoto}}

This is a re-print from ‘Been There, Done That’, my relationship site; phrases below in italics are taken from internet searches that have brought individuals to my sites.  I hope you enjoy this article (once again, perhaps?)

Eros conjunct the Midheaven

In the chart of an individual, Eros conjoined the Midheaven will likely manifest as an eroticization of the career or public function; in other words, he or she will be turned on by the professional role, and/or by their own exposure (and I use that word intentionally) in the public arena. This can have very innocent results–someone super-dedicated to the role they play in life can be the result, the consummate professional who excels because they’re truly dedicated to what they do–or it can bring about the kind of person who participates very eagerly in life–they ‘play the game’ with gusto. This can also be someone who thrives on the attention of the crowd, and particularly likes to hear about themselves and their reputations–a kind of reverse gossip, who wants to hear it all, as long as it’s about him or her! It can also signal someone who’s very open and honest about their proclivities, or someone who doesn’t mind others knowing what they truly are turned on by–they show preferences with no holding back, no shame, very healthy as they let others look on minus any hesitation about others knowing who they are–because to them, the private stuff lies elsewhere. And yes, it can also signal someone for whom their own public image is eroticized, with those observing seeing them as a sexual object, or as personifying an idealized sexual image as prescribed by the relevant society or even social circle. See an example here

Cross-chart, if one person’s Eros conjuncts another’s MC, we see the Eros person turned on by the career and/or public image of the other person–this could be a celebrity-chaser, or someone who often finds themselves attracted to those that others admire, with or without it making any sense. The response of the MC person will depend largely on that person’s feeling about receiving that erotic projection; if it fits their own ideas about themselves, they may thoroughly enjoy it–if it’s at odds with the way they see themselves (or the way they believe the other person should perceive them) then it can be a disquieting experience to interact with the Eros individual–minds will be changed, or the MC person will beat feet out of there fast, out of sheer discomfort!

Don’t confuse Eros with love; it is, instead, focused desire with the intention to possess that upon which it’s fixed–and though sometimes that feels like love, it’s really a type of projection, a decision to mentally overlay the person or object (because yes, they call fetishes and toys and talismans and such ‘erotica’ for a reason!) with sexual meaning.

Do Gemini men indulge in adultery?

They’re human, aren’t they? No sign is immune to any behavior,  just as no sign guarantees a behavior–we’re much more complex than that. Here’s my thought: if you’re asking the question, then you’re not feeling secure in the relationship–so the next issue becomes, Is it you, or is it him? Sometimes we project our own proclivities onto others; in this case, you might be prone to stray yourself, or, more likely, you might be unreliable, and this could translate into a need to constantly be reassured in whatever life area you are least secure, in this case, the romantic one. Or, this could genuinely be your intuition speaking. Only you know for sure.

husband not emotionally there

My heart (and the hearts of many of my readers) definitely go out to you. It’s not easy trying to relate to someone who seems unreachable on any but an intellectual level. That said, we must acknowledge that your husband’s emotions exist–and it’s important to say this, as it’s easy to pretend that someone not showing emotion doesn’t have emotions. And that suggests that he’s either feeling alienated from his own emotions (via depression) or that he is hiding his feelings from you.

I don’t mean to be glib, but it seems to me that if your husband is not emotionally there, with you, then he must be somewhere else–and I think that in some circumstances, this is the reality we don’t want to face. If this happens to strike a chord with you, the first thing you must do is face that, though a relationship consists of many facets, and connects at many levels, a marital relationship without emotional engagement basically negates all but the legal definition of the pact; marriage is, at its very essence, an emotional communion–and without that, you may be looking at the fact that the marriage no longer exists.

It’s essential that you understand a few things before you make any decisions or pronouncements: that your husband has disengaged for a reason–it may be one he needs help with (like depression) or may be one he will fiercely deny or defend against (infidelity, emotional or physical, a change in his feelings toward you, a spiritual path that may have turned him strongly toward considering only himself–and this latter should’ve lead him to formally end a relationship with you long before, so it’s not a more ‘noble’ excuse). You must also recognize that you cannot control his responses, nor should you try; though there may be a feeling that he ‘owes you’ (as implied by some readings of the marriage vows) sorting this out is not helped by judgments or demands, though it’s true that as your partner, he needs to acknowledge and deal with his own disengagement. You must also acknowledge your own, true feelings; sometimes we are as disengaged as our partner, but don’t want to see it–and sometimes we simply want to extract ‘payment’ in some form, for the pain we feel they’ve caused–but in both instances, we may not love anymore, ourselves, and are misrepresenting our own position, out of righteousness, as well as misunderstanding our own emotional state.

Sometimes we cannot get our partner, when he’s in this state, to speak in any meaningful way about existing circumstances, and in this case, it falls to you to decide how you feel (regardless of his feelings–after all, your feelings aren’t dependent on his, are they? And if they are, then it’s high time this relationship was examined, anyway). You only have control of yourself, so once you determine your own feelings (and sort out your own needs) you’ll know whether this ghost husband is offering anything sustainable, anything that still retains the shape of a marriage, and it will be quite obvious what you must do from there. Good luck–

Why did Venus hate Psyche?

I think ‘hate’ is the wrong word here–I think Venus was threatened by Psyche’s beauty, and that would make her both envious (wanting what Psyche has) and jealous (when Venus’ son Eros, whose full attention Venus had up to this point, falls in love with Psyche–Venus wants the attention of Eros, that Psyche now has). It just illustrates the idea that a woman who tries to destroy another woman hates a little part of herself–not a pretty picture at all.

stalker synastry

All synastry is highly dependent on the interaction of individual charts for ‘punch,’ and the synastry of a stalker to a stalkee could have any number of compelling aspects. A few include: the Pluto of the stalker to any identity energy (Sun, Moon, Venus for female, Mars for male, chart ruler, Sun or Moon ruler) of the stalked; Saturn of the stalker to these same identity energies (signalling a possible compulsion to control); Ceres (especially a female’s Ceres) to prominent chart energies; in negative Juno contact (usually more bossy than stalky); and Neptune prominent in the stalker’s chart and contacting significant energies of the stalkee–this latter obviously brings a high possibility of delusion into the mix. Still, so much depends on how these individuals use their energies, that just having some of these contacts doesn’t necessarily promise obsession–whew!

Born Today 5 August

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It won't all be frantic activity--you can take some time off, too, Leo. Oscar Bluhm 'Pergola' 1892 {{PD}}

It won’t all be frantic activity–you can take some time off, too, Leo. Oscar Bluhm ‘Pergola’ 1892 {{PD}}

You’re awaiting that ‘big idea’, dear Leo, but it’s not here quite yet; in the meantime, balancing the emotional life and the life of the mind, the physical needs and the spiritual ones, and exploring those facets of your Beingness that make you uniquely you, are all good ways to prepare. You’ll need to be ready to act when that idea hits, and you’ll also need to know who you are, inside and out–how else will you create from that big idea something only you could’ve done? It’s likely to be an action-filled and exciting period, and if you make the right choices and do what needs to be done this coming year through to your next birthday, you’ll be more than ready to make of the inspirations that come to you something exceptionally special. Happy Birthday, Leo, and good luck!

Born Today 4 August

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Edwin Harris 'A Cornish cottage garden' 1906 or before {{PD}}

Edwin Harris ‘A Cornish cottage garden’ 1906 or before {{PD}}

Look, dear Leo, it seems you’ve been digging through your life, excavating, deconstructing, and transforming circumstances on a daily basis of late, and now it’s time to take your place in the world. Claiming your rightful status won’t be easy, and you may turn away from pursuing that, still feeling that you have more digging to do–and that may keep you from going forward as assertively as you might need to. Everyone reaches a point when preparing the ground has to give way to active planting and tending, and that’s where you are right now. If you’ve still got things to purge, change, and re-construct, you’ll have to let it go for now; turn your attention instead to enlisting others who might be able to assist you in fulfilling your ambitions, and develop relationships with those who have the power or authority to make a difference, as well as with those who can offer you nurture–you’ll need them all in the days ahead. Happy Birthday, Leo, and good luck!

Born Today 3 August

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Cat by Isoda Koryusai (1766–1788) Only lived to be 22, but still managed to leave us something of note. {{PD}}

Cat by Isoda Koryusai (1766–1788) Only lived to be 22, but still managed to leave us something of note. {{PD}}

You may feel a little like you’re living in the proverbial fish-bowl this coming year, through to your next birthday, dear Leo; thoughts, feelings, and actions will all be both exaggerated and broadcast, in one way or another, during this period. In a way, it may seem like you can’t catch a break; from your point-of-view if could feel as if you’re just expressing yourself, but others may see you as having dark or hidden motives, as trying to be deliberately mysterious (and so deliberately provocative), as grabbing for power, or as trying to change the world (or just your corner of it), which can on its own attract both praise and accusations of pretentiousness. What’s a Lion to do? Whatever the f*ck she wants, that’s what. Let them talk; you need to spend the year acting and being who you are to the fullest, and if that means things soar successfully or go wonky once in a while, well, that’s the only way you’ll learn, isn’t it?

On the use of an asterisk to tone down profanity: I think it looks like a little sparkle, which is what you get when you use that kind of spicy word in the first place–so rather than feeling like I’m dodging the word, I’m making it more graphic, like those terrible poems trendy 50 years ago, where the word ‘bottle’ fills the shape of a bottle–it may be a tad tiresome, but you get the picture–

Your Weekend Sampler from ECLIPSE 2-3 August 2014

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'Fairy Islands' from the book Elves and Fairies 1916 by Ida Rentoul Outhwaite {{PD}}

‘Fairy Islands’ from the book Elves and Fairies 1916 by Ida Rentoul Outhwaite {{PD}}

8 AM PDT of the 2nd the Libra Moon quincunxes Sedna. Feelings, especially about relationships, are jarred by things in our ‘blind spot’–and so the origin of the disturbed feelings can’t be pinpointed. Noon the Moon trines Juno and semi-sextiles Pallas. Our empowerment relies on listening to that still, small voice of wisdom–but remember, it’s a choice, so we’re not guaranteed to stop and pay attention, and the voice won’t bother to shout–we have to be willing to hear what it’s saying. 4 PM PDT the Moon conjuncts Ceres. The power balance in relationships is examined–negotiations, overt or covert, are in order, and Nature and one’s sense of authority all have their say in what’s worked out. This can even things out between individuals in such a way that it makes for a long-lasting and stable interaction, or it can show us that equity and balance will never be achieved with that particular person. An eye-opener that we should pay attention to. Void begins at 5:40 PM PDT; the Moon enters Scorpio at 7:57 PM Pacific. 10 PM PDT the Moon conjuncts Vesta. We may look for emotional comfort on the home front, with the mate, or by diving in to causes to which we dedicate our life energy–or we may intuit something happening below the surface in one or more of these areas. The Scorpio Moon will dig to discover what’s hidden–be ready for an emotional revelation.

3 August thoughts and words may be darker or more destructive than we intend—in fact, we may not realize the power behind what we think and say at all! Too, illusion may seem preferable to the truth at this point. With just a small adjustment to the focus of our attention we can see both what’s powerful and what’s destructive—and so can avoid inflicting inadvertent damage. (Perfecting today: Mercury contra-parallel Pluto and quincunx Neptune, Sun quincunx Pluto)

The Daily Word Image for the 3rd is tiny green fairy lights in the summer garden. Time to fantasize, dream, and maybe consider the life forces, beings, and energies we can’t (or won’t) see.

And from an article on the life and death of founding member of the Rolling Stones Brian Jones (charts are here):

“Brian Jones has a 7th House Pisces Sun close to the South Node; Sun close to a Node implies birth close to an eclipse, and a Total Lunar eclipse arrived almost exactly three days later, on the 3rd. The eclipse was conjunct Jones’ North Node, his Ascendant, and his Earth (and so opposed his Sun), square his Jupiter, ruler of the 4th, and trine his Vesta. The emphasis on home and place, and on the identity so soon after birth may have sensitized his first conscious days to an extraordinary degree, setting up a condition of awareness of the loss of the Cosmic condition of the womb, and an existential longing that nothing earthly could quell. This may be reflected in his purchase, just a year before his death, of the house where A. A. Milne wrote Winnie the Pooh, Cotchford Farm; it seems an unusual choice for a premier rock star of the day, a sentimental and comforting atmosphere in a relatively isolated setting that was the opposite of the contemporary music scene.”

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Born Today 2 August

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'Music' Matisse {{PD}}

‘Music’ Matisse {{PD}}

What happens when we are caught between enacting our social role and turning away from it in order to deal with things we’d rather avoid, or to establish ourselves in a position respected by others? We live a year like the upcoming one for you, dear Leo! You may be entirely caught up in identity and role matters, and so have little time or mental room to accommodate those emotional, home, and mate issues that may arise. That’s okay; the partner will give you some slack when they see how important it is (and extra so for a Solar Leo!) for you to make it clear to all just who you are, what you want to do, and how you want to be treated. Don’t forget to thank your support system, and to offer them empowerment through your own gains and advances. You may end up making a lot of changes this year, through to your next birthday, and they will be permanent ones–take your time as you do change things, and you’ll finish the year in a much more suitable power situation than when you started it. Happy Birthday, Leo, and good luck!

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Born Today 1 August 2014

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'At the Moulin Rouge' Henri Evenepoel 1897 {{PD}}

‘At the Moulin Rouge’ Henri Evenepoel 1897 {{PD}}

This may be a very interesting Solar year for you, dear Leo, as through to your next birthday you may be dealing in equal measure with opportunities and those matters you’d rather ignore–and sometimes these will be one and the same. Interacting with others, and especially their level of cooperation, will take on added importance for you–you are working out a creative power arrangement that allows you the greatest productivity and latitude, and you’ll find sometimes that you’ll need the aid of others to make this happen. Pay special attention to this: emotions will be the key to everything this coming year–how you handle feelings will make or break your success at this time, so good luck, and Happy Birthday, Leo!

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Just a Little AstroEssence + the Daily Image 31 July 2014: Tick Tock

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Josef Neugebauer Stillleben mit einer Uhr ('Still Life with a Clock') 1873 {{PD}}

Josef Neugebauer Stillleben mit einer Uhr (‘Still Life with a Clock’) 1873 {{PD}}

Black Moon Lilith sextiles Zeus and both inconjunct Chiron in a Finger of God; there’s also a Grand Water Trine that hooks into the Finger through Chiron (the other points are Venus and Saturn), making for an interesting possible effect: by standing up for ourselves and facing what we might otherwise avoid, and at the same time pursuing goals, we may end up healing some long-held wounds–and this, in turn, creates a Love-filled, rewarding, or prosperous reality. That sounds good.

Today’s image is a clock, the glass-covered face of which is unreadable in the glaring sun. What happens to our consciousness, and our perceptions, when we throw away the clock? If you can, go for a day without reference to time; you’ll almost certainly tune in more closely to your body, to the environment, and to your own needs. This image could alternatively suggest for some that though one may need to know ‘what time it is’, there is an inability to determine just how ‘late’ it actually is–the only option may be to do the best one can, without reference to timetables, schedules, or deadlines.

This is from ECLIPSE–to see it all, subscribe!

A useful and enlightening viewpoint on August developments

Born Today 31 July

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Francesco del Cossa - Allegory of April - Triumph of Venus (detail) {{PD}}

Francesco del Cossa – Allegory of April – Triumph of Venus (detail) {{PD}}

Dear Leo, this coming Solar year, through to your next birthday, you may be in for experiences that reveal what’s been in your blind spot and that delivers some serious wisdom–and, as much as you’ll benefit from this, it might be a little bit stressful. Communications may be stressed, too, and material matters may force you to stand up for yourself and to face what you’d rather not–but what comes from this is a firm identity, true respect for yourself, and the discovery of just who in your world loves and supports you and who doesn’t, which should help you sort out where and with whom you want to spend your energy and your time. The best thing that comes from this period will be a growing sense of personal power and effectiveness, which will pave the way for you to bring dreams from their place in the imagination and into reality.

Born Today 30 July

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Dynamism of a Biker (1913) by Umberto Boccioni {{PD}}

Dynamism of a Biker (1913) by Umberto Boccioni {{PD}}

Dear Leo, it looks like you might find yourself involved with repeated emotional showdowns over wounding behaviors (yours or another’s) and the nature of reality, specifically how much of creativity, imagination, inspiration, and connection to the Cosmos is ‘real’? It will be an interesting time, when you’ll be assessing the costs and rewards of going after your ambitions and goals, taking big, bold action, and you may exhibit a definite willingness to experiment with the reality picture, trying to make it fit your own ideal more closely. Those are all good–just be wary of believing that strong words equal strength (both in the speaking of them and in the hearing of them–someone may try to intimidate or persuade they are more formidable than they are), and take special care that your actions and choices first do no harm. Otherwise, have a Happy Birthday, Leo, and a wonderful year!

Julie Demboski's ASTROLOGY

Addressing the Individual Experience Within the Universal Truth

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